It's so easy when you first meet someone to treat them like they are special and doing things with them is so much fun. Growing and getting to know each other is amazing. You cherish the time you spend together and you talk. It's amazing how much time you spend talking about everything. I know we talked on the phone and wrote letters. I would be so excited to get a letter from him and talking on the phone was such a treat. The knowledge that you would do anything for that person.
So what happens along the way. We use the excuse we are too busy. It's an excuse we use or story we tell our selves to feel better about our choices. I know for me it happened after our first child was born. He totally understood when their babies and little they need our attention. Then we talked and he said it was important to put each other first over everything. My first thought was you selfish bugger....then I took time to think about what he said. I realized he was right. If we don't take care of each other who does. The answer is no one. We are connected and nurture each other in ways no one else does on so many levels.
I realized that our family life is only as good as our marriage. If our marriage is happy and healthy, then our children benefit from all that joy. So you make time , sometimes it's easier than others but we choose to make each other a priority. Do we do it all the time , NO , but we have couple time and talk about us not just the kids. I went to work after our first and then became a stay at home mom of our 8 children. My husband worked 6 days a week to because him being there was the only way the doors opened. So we have faced a lot of challenges but bottom line I loved him and he loved me and we weren't intimidated .
They say it's in the everyday little things you do for that person and they are right. Prepping a meal together, cleaning a car off for them in the winter, writing a poem, flowers just because, coming home to a bath with candles and just showing each other in the ordinary or not so ordinary they are loved and cherished. Knowing when they walk in a room they only have eyes for you. You both have to be committed and not put each other on a shelf thinking they will be there when your ready...ask yourself would you. So remember why you choose them and focus on all the things you love about them. Take opportunities to connect or make time for each other.