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struggling to sleep

Updated: May 2, 2021


For many, deep sleep seems to be elusive. We may find that we’ve slipped into a sleep pattern that we’re unsure how to break.

We often don’t realize that we create patterns in our lives for everything we do, including sleep. I bet if you think for a moment you can remember a time when you actually sleep so peacefully. What starts to change first is our language, or self-talk. As a Certified Hypnotherapist and Life Coach, I am very familiar with the transformative power of self-talk.

Step 1: Changing our Language

Changing the story we tell ourselves is an important first step. When we change the story, we are then able to change the behaviour—in this case our sleep pattern. Our thoughts dictate our outcome, so it’s important to know what ‘sleep story’ you’re telling yourself.

Do you hear yourself saying or thinking some of these thoughts?

  • I don’t sleep well anymore

  • I always wake up so tired.

  • I toss and turn all night.

  • I never have a good night’s sleep.

The more we use this language, or self–talk, the more we anchor the behavior in our subconscious.

So, let’s start with changing your language to more supportive statements that are focused on the results you desire.

A few examples:

  • I choose to create a beautiful, calm and sacred place that will inspire relaxation and inner peace.

  • I create time and new habits that will calm my mind before going to bed.

  • Every day I am making positive choices for myself that enhances the quality of my sleep.

Affirmations are a powerful way to being to shift the old stories and beliefs that are causing the pattern. Let your thoughts be encouraging , nurturing and let your language support what you truly desire and that is a restful, beautiful deep sleep.

Step 2 Setting the Intention for a Good Night’s Sleep

You may wonder why a person would want or need to set an intention to sleep. Might even sound a little silly. Let me say it is life changing .

Our minds need guidance to know our desire. The busyness of our minds gets in the way of calming the chaos we sometimes are feeling. When you give your mind a purposeful desire the mind and body know how to align to achieve a deep and restful sleep.

I share a few ideas and want to recommend that you write your intentions because it creates a more powerful outcome.

  • I am going to have a serene and beautiful rest and wake up refreshed and energized.

  • I am going to have an amazing sleep and wake up excited and energized.

The more you do this process, the faster your mind will begin to accept this as a new belief and because it serves you, it easily creates the internal change. You keep this intention close to your bed so you can both see it and repeat it out loud every night before you go to bed. Hold the sacred intention that sleep will come easily.

Step 3 Create Space for a Good Night’s Sleep

When we walk into a spa , how do you feel.? If you’re like me then you’re fully aware of every scent, the atmosphere and the serenity. You can almost feel your body melting into the experience before your spa treatment begins.

Recreate that in your bedroom. Here are a couple tips to create a calm and relaxing space for yourself:

  • Remove anything in your room that does not support the calm and peaceful space you desire.

  • Only allow what nurtures , supports and serves this spa like atmosphere.

  • We are all unique so take a few minutes and connect with yourself and ask the question….What do I want and need to create a sacred place for myself so that I can have a deep and restful sleep.

  • An idea might be keeping a journal by your bed so you can release and let go of anything that could interfere with your sleep. Know after your amazing rest you will be refreshed and energized to easily handle whatever comes your way.

  • Maybe lighting a candle 30 min before bed so your room smells soothing or a diffuser with a scent that calms you.

It’s life changing when your language (self-talk) benefits and serves you in the direction you want to go. Being clear with your intention of restful sleep gives your mind a clear picture of the outcome you desire.

I have been where you are and know these 3 steps will assist you in creating your inner serenity by having a deep sleep each night.


This article is published in Aspire Magazine.

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