Updated: May 7
I've known since I was a little girl that when I grew up I wanted to be a mother. You think you know how it's going to be but you don't have a clue. Feel like that is a blessing . My journey to motherhood was not an easy one so my insight maybe coloured. It took 5 years for us to have our first child. The cool thing about our first pregnancy is that my husband told me I was pregnant. I was going to the specialist and they were going to start fertility testing and when I woke up in the morning before my Dr's appointment out of the blue I told my husband I thought I was pregnant. I wanted to be sure before they started any testing that could cause a miscarriage. Since my husband was a pharmacist I sent a urine sample with him to work and went to my appointment.
While at my appointment my Dr's secretary steps in and says I have a call from my husband. I said no problem I will call him later when I am not half dressed and holding up the Dr. This is before cell phones so no texting either. He said no you should take the call, I said no, no , I know how busy you are my husband can wait. In the end , I took the call . It was my husband and he said : he thinks I'm pregnant...me : What do you mean you THINK I'm pregnant. I am or I'm not....him: Well it looks like you could be...me: Ok , if another woman gave you that sample who was not me , what would you tell her. him: That she is pregnant...me : OK , I am pregnant, he says I guess so...
I was elated and skipped all the way home. I felt so incredible blessed to finally be having our baby. I loved being pregnant, yes there was nausea and fatigue but it was all so amazing to me. So many things that people don't tell you, to help you prepare for your first baby. The prenatal course I took back then left a lot of valuable information out. Wished I would have known about HypnoBirthing and doula's . They would have been life changing for me. It's my why to becoming a doula and HB Practitioner. They also don't mention how whether you are a working mother or a stay at home mother , that both feel the need to defend their choice.
Wish I could say it stop there, breastfeeding vs bottle, co- sleeping vs crib, choosing not to have any children at all. The list goes on and on and on. The comparisons we mother's feel the need to do is horrible. I did not know a lot of people and my family did not live here so I was on my own which again was a blessing. There were not cell phones or internet or groups so I had to figure it out on my own, like so many of us do. Well babies do not come with instruction manuals anyway right.
So , I am going to tell you what I tell every mother I meet or work with . Be you , do what is right for you and your family. It does not matter that you don't raise your children like everyone else, we don't all marry the same people why would we think we would be making all the same choices. Whether you breastfeed or bottle, the point is you feed your child. There are some basic guidelines like be consistent with your rules and mom and dad should be on the same page. Parents should be unified in their parenting, you children will divide and conquer. Just saying....
Respect each other and support each other no matter what choices we are making for our children. I have 2 sisters and we did not raise our children the same, who cares. I learned we are all on this journey doing the very best we can with the knowledge we have in that moment. The last thing any mother needs from any one is criticism, we do that plenty on ourselves and don't need any more . Instead of giving advice maybe give encouragement , like you got this, trust your gut, you know you what is best for your child. Know also that you will make mistakes and that is normal , human and expected. Know that every baby is a gift to this world, someone or something whatever you believe created this miraculous human being and gave them to you . So you will figure it out mistakes and all. If you choose to be a mother and embrace and enjoy motherhood.